The Notes Between The Keys

Gone Fishing

Gone Fishing

I spent the last year here rebuilding my confidence as a writer, forcing myself to see my life as noteworthy every day, gathering inspiration. I didn’t know what I was doing, and half-hoped the sheer pursuit of a Broken Down Writer theme would be enough to sustain the blog.

But giving myself about a half an hour a day to do this, I’ve been gumming the edges of what I really want to do, which is to write a full-length story. And I’ve been terrified by that because if I can’t do it, it will negate my life-long dream, and also because I know it will be terribly hard.

Posting blogs grants us an immediate, short-term satisfaction of casting ourselves into the world and then waiting for the chimes to ding when someone acknowledges us. And it sure feels good.

All our time is limited, and I’m happy to report I’m spending more of mine now on my hard-drive, picking my way through a story that’s troubling and difficult, as I knew it would be, because it’s forced me to go deep inside myself. And things don’t present themselves in a linear format, through the creation process…like life, it’s a mish-mash of scenes and impressions, hard to distill meaning.

I’m taking time off from the blog now in order to devote myself to a new writing project, and I’m grateful to you for being a part of the blog-journey with me this far!

I’ll leave now with a dream I had early last week, where I was at a soccer game and watching my team-mates on the field. I realized the game was almost over and I would miss out on getting a chance to play, which is not much different than how I felt when I really played soccer, in high school.

In my dream-state, I imagined whether I wanted to play offense or defense, and felt the rush of fear and anticipation when I thought about what I’d do when the ball came to me. I saw myself lacing my cleats, and that’s when I woke.

I really dread sports metaphors, but it’s time I got my ass in the game. Thanks for reading.

16 responses to “The Notes Between The Keys

  1. i’m happy that you’re doing this, for you, and sad because i’ll miss our interactions and your writings. you have the talent, and now you just have to go out and use it in a way you’ve always dreamed of, and continue to. nothing to fear really, as the hardest part is getting started. no matter what happens you’ll have done it, and given it a shot. more regret would come of never having tried, than trying and not having it turn out exactly as you had wanted. life is short and live it fully. best to you always, beth

    • Thank you Beth! I’ll miss your wonderful comments and wish you the best too. Your insights are always spot-on…thanks for taking time to share these wishes, so sweet and thoughtful. Best, – Bill

  2. I wish you the best – I will miss this blog, though!

  3. I’ll miss it too! And thank you — best to you too and I look forward to catching up soon. – Bill

  4. I didn’t realize that we were on the same path. I’ve been using my blog in the same way and very recently have gone back to a writing project that I left behind not quite a year ago. I’m not at a point where I want to put aside my blog though. You’re farther along than I am.

    I hope you will be reappearing when you’re done with your project or need a short break.

    • Thanks so much Glynis…nice running into you on the path, as it were…and best to you and your pursuits. See you at the end of the trail, or thereabouts. I appreciate your encouragement and kind words, thank you! – Bill

  5. I’m cheering at my desk. I’ll miss your meditations but, hey, I’m willing to make that sacrifice. Go!

  6. I’ve greatly enjoyed reading your blog….hope to get a chance to read galleys of your novel!

    best,

    gregg

    gregg s johnson cell: 206.399.3066 email: gregg@greggsjohnson.com

  7. Good luck with it. I do find that the need for acclamation keeps me away from more serious writing.

  8. Just write — make the best use of those early-morning hours. Write on.

  9. Enjoy writing. And remember, you’ll always be in my reader. Let us know when you get something published. Look forward to it.

  10. Thanks Laura: you too.

  11. It’s funny, but I had you on my mind for awhile so thought I best go see how you are doing. I then came to your last post and felt utterly sad. It is like you are a friend I should have met in person, but never did. Yet, so happy you are channeling your energy still with writing, but on a different level! I appreciate that so much and admire it deeply. I remember our one conversation and appreciated your listening ear. Take Care and may the Force Be With You! Your Friend, Alesia

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