Stress-Free Christmas Tree Erection

The key to a stress-free erection is the fake tree, which unfolds as easily as an umbrella, comes pre-lit, and stands perfectly straight every time. There’s no sap, no haggling with the farmer, and no bungee-chording it down to the roof of your car. When you’re done, you put it in a box and stow it in the basement. No pine needles everywhere – and no need to worry about watering the thing every other day, then over-watering it and staining the floor.

I say this in the blog, but the reality is that I prefer real trees because of the smell, and the fact that you know they are real. Something separates the two camps of fake and real Christmas tree people, and is governed by how you feel about the holiday any given year, and how much money and time you are willing to devote to the tree. I like the ease of a fake tree, but miss the feel.

About pinklightsabre

William Pearse publishes memoir, travel journals, poetry and prose, and lives in the Pacific Northwest.
This entry was posted in Factory Reset, humor and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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