Giving Notice Fantasy

A fellow blogger announced yesterday she gave notice to quit her job, and dedicate herself full-time to writing. That triggered a fantasy in me, which I spent time propping up last night, a dream-house made out of sticks that fell down when I woke up this morning.

A friend Drew asked on a recent post, “what’s the difference between the voice in your head and YOUR voice?” I didn’t have a good answer. There’s a filter between the two.

All this amounts to a complicated web of money, conditioning, and fear: I’m making enough money now I’ve built a lifestyle dependent on it and backed myself into a corner…I’m afraid of consequences, from leaving, and part of that fear comes from conditioning, and the conversations I imagine having with everyone else around me. (What will you do…?)

It’s that question that’s so liberating, to think I could jump out of the plane, and fly.


About pinklightsabre

Bill Pearse publishes memoir, travel journals, poetry and prose, and lives in the Pacific Northwest.
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20 Responses to Giving Notice Fantasy

  1. rossmurray1 says:

    I wish I had the answer.


  2. Full Disclosure, Bill: I’m married to someone who still has a job and health insurance. We’re working class with a middle class income, so we have unintentionally lived below our means. It has given us both wiggle room to make changes when we need to, so I recognize there is privilege in being able to jump out of that plane when there’s a parachute.

    On the other hand, it doesn’t always have to be an either/or proposition. It became that for me this year for a myriad of reasons. Writers have been successfully writing under a wide range of circumstances. For me, it was about the fact that creatively, my energy was being sucked away by things I didn’t enjoy and that had, over the years, lost value. And there is value in supporting a family and having that security. But are there other things to let go or add that would give a needed boost?

    PS – I dread the next time someone asks me what I do. I think I’ll just sputter frenetically and walk away.


  3. Addie says:

    I was able to do just that for two years.

    It was heaven.


    • pinklightsabre says:

      Thank you Addie for stopping by and sharing…I had a taste of it for five months a few years ago, and I’m wanting it again. I appreciate you commenting. Best, – Bill


  4. pondering this myself. Great post!


  5. The voices in your head are those of spiders; do not listen to them especially if they tell you to jump out of a plane, or off of the roof of your house. You can’t throw out a silken cable line like they do. Stay on the ground, but keep looking up and enjoy the view of the sky from here. In other words, security is good and so is dreaming and reaching.


  6. verycoollife says:

    my question was rhetorical (of course!). from my perspective, there is no difference between your voice and the one you hear in your head. the later is aka intuition…

    certainly there’s nothing i believe in more strongly than being aware of how you feel and moving in the direction that feels better. your voice, your intuition is the one thing you can always count on to guide you in the desired direction.

    the challenge is that we’re trained away from our intuition pretty much from the get-go… the idea is to “protect us” and it’s well-meaning, but it’s not very helpful in the long run.

    having what you want it really not difficult. people will tell you it is, but it’s not. that said, it requires you to DECIDE that you will have what you want. and this is what most people never do. they hope. they wish. they waffle. they rationalize. they argue for why they can’t have what they want. and then that’s that.

    in any case, i hope you allow yourself to have what you want, Bill, whatever that is. that’s kinda the whole point, i think…


  7. rossmurray1 says:

    Bill, I’ve been thinking about this. I think you need to start with a small thing that makes you happy, something that can squeeze into a crack in your life and, like a wedge, make it wider and wider. What can you do? Is there an alternative paper you can pitch a column to? A coffee house that wants to host poetry nights? I don’t really know what your circumstances will allow, and you may need to give something else up besides revenue earning to make it work, but, trust me, it doesn’t take much to bring joy and sense of fulfillment to your life. It may take a while, but that wedge will have its way.


    • pinklightsabre says:

      Wow Ross – thank you for thinking about this and offering such thoughtful ideas. Wonderful image, even better advice. I’m going to grab hold of that – thanks for taking the time and consideration to offer this up. I really appreciate it. I owe you one, buddy! Stay tuned…you gave me some real perspective here. Let your wife have the pumpkins. I love pumpkins too. Were I not so stressed out last weekend, I’d have put some out myself. – Bill


  8. Elyse says:

    That’s why I buy lottery tickets …


  9. Roger says:

    we hebben niet met 1-6 maar met 1-8 vleroernen dat pakken we hun dan terug, als wuij dan weer tegen hun moeten spellenwij uit tegen hun thuis. Daar kunnen wij er op gaan vertrouwen op dat momment,dat zou gert en lia ook zeggen gr van stefan


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