In my dream
my grandfather
was there
and I thought
this is the last
time I will see
my grandfather
and then he was
gone
flickering
between a
photo
and a living,
breathing
grandfather
and in the street
a wake
of stretch
limos and bad
actors played
the part
of the mourning
I reached
for my wife
and held
her hand
she twitched
and later
I knew
the picture
was me,
my dad,
my grand-
father:
layers,
outlines,
silhouettes
that stack
and fall
like the
leaves,
indistinct
but important
to each other
in ways
we won’t
understand.

This is truly beautiful. Your words along with the imagery you have created makes for a very bittersweet read.
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Oh thank you my friend for reading and saying so! Glad you connected with it, I’m happy you did. Bill
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your grandfather was a very handsome man. i love the string between all of you, there is no denying the layers of connection.
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Aw thanks Beth, yes he was a super man. Thanks, Bill
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Love the photo reflection in combination with the poem. It feels like being let in on a secret.
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Ah good, I had trouble ending the poem but used the picture to help me do so. Thanks Michelle.
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They return in our dreams, don’t they, the ones we’ve lost. My father in law comes back from time to time, my dad and step mum, that last particularly comforting as we didn’t always get on and she was so happy to see me in my dream. It was only a dream, but still, it put something to rest for me.
Beautiful, Bill. Truly. You capture a feeling I recognise, that reaching for people in our dreams, then in the quiet moments after we wake. You’ve really got something there
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Hey nice to hear Lynn, weird sensations and don’t happen often enough so I tried to save that one…glad you related. Bill
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Hard to keep hold of these thoughts when dawn breaks, isn’t it?
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Like those above, I liked this one too, deep and haunting, and the pic is a great visual complement. But if you don’t mind talking shop for a second, I have a question. The editor in me wants to remove “in my dream” while leaving the rest untouched. Do you think that would alter what you were wanting to say too much? How important is it that we are told it’s a dream? For me, it would be stronger read without that one line, the rest unchanged.
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I love that idea and I’m with you, why not? And it’s more interesting and open, less confined maybe. You go on editing please, open invitation. Trust…thanks man. Been fiddle-fucking with this “DJ quality” turntable I got for Christmas and think i finally got it to sound right. So putting off making dinner, who knows how long it will last, it sounding this good. Bill
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Great, now I see you scratching out your beats over your hip hop jammings or some such on your DJ Jazzy Lightsabre turntable. We’re both way too old and white for these things. Stop putting them in my head.
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May be white but the old part I have more control over I think.
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Tenderly done. I especially liked the part about the bad actors playing mourners.
In college, I lost the man I loved (“boyfriend” seems too cutesy for dead men) to a drunk driver. He came back to me in dreams for a good year or so, helping me get my shit back together. I miss him — the real him, and the dream him too, who was like but not like him, and who was so patient with me and all my stupid questions.
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That’s amazing, more so than I can come close to here, dream-stuff, I’m sorry. Thanks for sharing with me though, that’s cool you did. Bill
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I sometimes wish dream-him would come back to visit, especially when I’m lonely and wondering if I’ll ever find another soul mate. But I wonder. He’s forever 21, for real. How could he relate to what I’m going through now? What would we talk about, if not a past long gone? Then I think of his mother, and what she would give for one more conversation, at any age, and I cry.
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I think if you use the word tenderly as you did in this context it comes from a different kind of wisdom and one I respect.
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It’s true that as I get older, I appreciate tenderness more and more.
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What year is that photo, please? Nice tie and glasses. Classic. I didn’t know my father or grandfathers at all. You’re very lucky.
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Photo early 60s I think, maybe earlier even. My grandfather looks young there. He was born in 1919, died 2006. But thanks, I am lucky I knew him and my dad is still alive, and I had a great step-dad too. My grandfather was an engineer for Pennsylvania Power & Light and designed one of the first nuclear power plants (not three mile island though).
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