It is the time of moody records and blankets, and nearly the time of candles. Though there’s late afternoon sun it doesn’t have the same warmth and it’s wet, the ground smells, the earth sighs: and we are all holding on, on this amusement park ride about to tilt over and drop…

Indoors the light takes on new angles and charms. Three drunk fruit flies in my beer, almost enough to make a constellation. And the light makes it look like a potion, how it glows as the sun dips low.

It’s the time of year I was born, deep fall, and I feel an odd strength in this slow collapse. There is the turn inward to restore: dead-head me, cut me back, clear away the ground cover. I gathered up the hoses and the yard tools, stuffed them in the shed, found a headless rabbit the cat killed, tossed it in the bushes by the neighbors’, refilled the hot tub: the size of the wolf spider beneath the lid and how fast it disappeared, like a hand.

And around the corner, all the rain and pools to fill the streets: waking to the sound of the heater, leaving the house for work in the dark. On the first bus of the day with the heat on too high, shifting from side to side with our coffees, steadying myself at my stop, reemerging on the street to cross…the smell of fall, the look of it in the sky, the light against the gray, the sense it could rain or just has.

Categories: Memoir, prose

Tags: , , , , , ,

21 replies

  1. I enjoy your prayers to Autumn, Bill.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love the notion of being dead-headed and cut back. Autumn – you have conjured it here.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Still summer here, but I’m looking forward to the mood you’re giving us. We get a few more dips in the pool, a little more hiking in shorts, and, unfortunately, more weeks of fire danger.

    I don’t think I’d drink that beer after the flies binged on it! 🍺🤢

    Liked by 1 person

    • The mood is good, if not different (and bad, when you get down to it). But different! And there’s that! Sorry for the fire danger…will feel good to get out of that for sure. That is a sucky, regular recurrence now. Like North Carolina this time of year and category 4 storms, sort of…


  4. yes, things are winding down and getting ready to tuck themselves away before the winter winds blow. i’m an autumn baby too, my favorite season of the year –

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nice! Sagittarians and Scorpios unite. I like the first third of it and hate the latter portion, but so be it. The latter portion feels like we’ve already endured winter here, before it’s even begun.


  5. A fine meditation. I like the amusement ride image.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hmm. Gonna have to put on the Moody Blues and a pot of tea.

    Liked by 1 person

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