In the last 24 hours, my blog has been targeted by a bot following attack. At first it seemed like a good thing, all these new followers. They come in batches of five or so every hour, about 200 in the last couple days. But as I dug deeper, I realized they all map back to a lifestyle blog about cooking.

Funny enough, the names and thumbnails of my new followers are all plausible. They’re young, white women with on-trend names like Reagan. When I click on the parent site it takes me to a bunch of recipes for Belgian beef, gelatin-based stocks, and so on—with step-by-step instructions, terrible misspellings, photos with hands and spatulas. It’s how you’d imagine robots trying to talk about cooking, with English as a second language.

Part of me wants to go there and say stop following me, but another part doesn’t want to attract any negative attention. In fact I keep finding myself returning there, tempted to follow…

About pinklightsabre

William Pearse publishes memoir, travel journals, poetry and prose, and lives in the Pacific Northwest.
This entry was posted in humor, musings and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to

  1. kingmidget says:

    Have I got a cooking sight for you!!!!!

    Like

  2. amcmulin914 says:

    You just gotta roll with it! This actually relates to the book I’m thinking of writing. A character starts writing a long letter to AI on the computer, hoping/suspecting it could be listening…and it is!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had a different kind of attack earlier this year. All computer generated outlook email addresses.
    Wordpress Happiness Engineers (I cannot type that without pulling a face) did sort it out.
    Before it stops, though, what’s the recipe for Belgian Beef?

    Like

  4. walt walker says:

    They have attacked me too. It’s been going on for days. I keep thinking it’s going to stop but it just keeps going.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry sounds creepy.
    Although as MIT, etc creates more protein-based bio-computers , I imagine their systems will take more and more interest in cooking. and perhaps will grow angry if they see our recipe for “fish head soup,” and feel a kinship.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. rossmurray1 says:

    You have a spatula fetish.
    Did you used to have Kraft commercials in the U.S.? Just hands manipulating Kraft Singles and cherry tomatoes for a quick, nutritious snack. Mesmerizing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • pinklightsabre says:

      I had a friend who was a leg model! Seriously. Hand models are a different breed. I can picture the Kraft commercials, embedded in my psyche.

      Like

  7. I’ve gotten in the habit of going through that list and deleting obvious bot followers. It’s a pointless task, but makes me feel marginally better about that fake Followers number.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. byebyebeer says:

    I’ve always wondered about the follow bots. What’s the point? Is it sinister or pointless spam (because they’re never real sites or products right?)? I like the idea of robots starting cooking blogs. They’re a little behind the times but they’ll catch up and surpass us all before long.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I’ve got thousands of followers but most of them are fake. Getting a new follower email stopped feeling good a long time ago.

    Like

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