By the time we got to the end of October I was done with it. The Halloween decals on the windows, the witches and skulls…it seemed to go on forever, like it should have been over by now. The skeleton couple on the mantel, I remembered the day we got them and I was getting sick. How summer still had its sway over us then…but walking to the bus I realized today it’s gone for good: the shades of loss through the distance.
We drove across the Scottish Highlands from Arbroath, the first day the sun came out, and made the landscape gold past the old cemeteries and towns. By the time we got to Inverness it was getting dark near 4, we checked in to our place and I went out for groceries…and followed the sound of bagpipes in the town center, and came back to make soup.
We took the kids trick-or-treating the next day but it just wasn’t the same, how could it be? We came home with empty bags and stopped at a McDonald’s, hoping for some lesson we could take away from it. And the next day, we drove to the Loch Ness and a walk to some waterfalls, and it was all sun on a Sunday, November 1, with the whole month ahead of us to just be in Scotland, to see all that we could see.
I took the bus to work today and stood for a while waiting for it, the first one of the day. And remarked when I got home how quickly it went, the day! How we click the days off like that and march headstrong to the end. How it will come sooner than we expect it to, though we deny its existence…but in the end, it will deny us our own.