In the dream I was doing yoga in a class with mostly women, squatting, feeling overweight, with the sensation that my wang was poking out. It was, and I realized it must be a dream. I felt my body strain through the poses, aware of what I must look like, underwear and lower back-crack steeped in sweat. And then the class and dream were over, we toweled off, and I exited with the other students though none of them had faces or names. And I realized it was a studio I’d never been to before, possibly an old building where I once worked, and I was still in my underwear feeling fat, but proud of myself for doing yoga at least.

In the morning I opened my phone and there was a note from Charlotte’s fifth grade teacher explaining FLASH, a program with an acronym to describe sex ed, “Family Learning And Sexual Health,” a great program but maybe a bad name for fifth graders. Who needs more fuel for the fire? And Charlotte told us about it, but still has a hard time with the word penis, can’t watch films with scenes of intimacy, including kissing.

When I went for the coffee there was a wolf spider in the corner of the sink just sitting there, trying to get out. I dowsed it with water so it rolled into the drain trap, then cupped it with a British pint glass, slid it over a plate and onto the back stoop, where I released it.

And then I came back to the den, lit a candle and thought, I’ve started my day already with an act of kindness.

Categories: musings, parenting, yoga

Tags: , , , , , , ,

23 replies

  1. Why do our wangs always poke out in our dreams?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I keep having dreams that I’m back at work. I’ve already quit, but I’m still working and not getting paid like, a month after quitting, and worried I’m going to get in trouble for it. Nothing personal is ever exposed though, at least not yet. Good job freeing the lost spider. I’m sure he was all wtf am I doing in this guy’s sink? Should have given him a coffee for the road, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s funny, about the spider. I’m embarrassed to say that almost 5 years later, I still dream about where I worked for 20 years. Now at least the building looks different. And same with the yoga class. I guess that’s progress. The mind is a terrible thing to taste.


  3. OK I looked up “wolf spider” now I’m going to have the arachnophobia nightmare, but glad you did the right thing and took it outside, starting the day with an act of kindness, and also that’s about 2,000 miles from here, so that’s ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. how were you so calm about the wolf spider in your sink? you are not only kind, you are brave.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m benevolent with spiders too. Lately even with silverfish. Maybe I have a Buddhist soul deep down … Good on you, Bill!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. We’re gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all night long.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. FLASH. What, Was SPURT not available? (Sexual Pedagogy with Unmitigated Real Trauma)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You guys are simple and funny.

    Liked by 1 person

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