LGBTQIA, the new strong password

I took Lily to her LGBTQIA support group for kids with mental and behavioral issues, dropped her in the lobby with her phone, then drove to Bellevue for a quiet drink. I sat at the bar with a shrimp cocktail, and that song came on I’ve been listening to in the car, one from the ’80s that seems to be following me around. And I let it take me out of my circumstance, to another time.

On Friday, we celebrated her birthday in Issaquah at the Italian restaurant we’ve been to so many times, for birthdays and random days we felt like going out. And then we watched Bohemian Rhapsody, and all weekend I had Queen songs in my head.

We went to the mall in Bellevue twice, and ran up the credit card on clothes, shoes, a new skateboard for Lily. I bought a new blazer for my business trip to Europe, a couple outfits, and exceeded my budget by 4x. And we crammed into the Asian specialty beverage shop that sells drinks with jellies and rock salt, got a bubble waffle, and found a bench in the mall to share it.

Though it was a beautiful, almost-spring day, I did laundry in the afternoon: and paused over Lily’s orchestra shirt, brought back to the recent scene of her leaving the house to perform in the concert, but unable to proceed to the car, frozen in tears and anxiety: telling her it’s OK, it doesn’t really matter. How moments like this can cut into our self-esteem. And thinking that, leaving the support group with its flags and positive affirmations in the lobby, why it’s so important to accept people who need to feel a part, and how little it takes from us to just accept.

We lost an hour on Sunday and now it feels like early morning, or fall, though we’re tilting southward again, and all the birds are filling into the auditorium waiting for the show to begin.

Categories: parenting, writing

Tags: , , , , , ,

18 replies

  1. Wish I could help. But even when proximity’s involved, it’s hard to know what to do. The daughter or our close friends is going through stuff, a good friend of our daughter, and we feel helpless. Most of the time we don’t even know our own head, let alone someone else’s.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sorry to hear that Lily’s having a hard time of it … capital-A Adolescence. A for arrrgggh. A for anxiety too. A for alone. A for atypical. Lotta scary A words.

    What’s that ’80s song, by the way? I keep hearing “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” lately …

    Liked by 2 people

  3. sorry she’s going through this and happy you are accepting of all of her, the easy and the challenging parts

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anxiety and insecurity can limit us in so many ways. My own insecurities and fears kept me from a lot over the years. I hope she finds a way through it.

    What did you think of Bohemian Rhapsody?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My heart goes out to you Bill, and to Lily. I’m glad she has a support group to buoy her, and a supportive family. Wish I had some wisdom to impart like an old sage that I should be but am not. Take care and let the music do it’s thing as needed.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Just before coming to the screen for a few minutes catching up on blogs, I was reading from “1001 Songs: The Great Songs of All Time” by Toby Creswell (former Ed. of Aus Rolling Stone). The song I read about was ‘Karma Chameleon’ and Creswell’s piece contains this quote from George:
    “I just hate those compliments you get like, ‘Oh, he’s a freak but I love the music’. I mean, have you heard about that guy in Detroit who’s started a fan club for people who can’t stand to look at me? That’s… it’s sad in a way. Because that sort of thinking just misses the point of Culture Club. We really are trying to educate people towards some sort of tolerance on a moral basis. And also in regards to humanity.’

    The 80s are still following you around, friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m glad that even with the challenges you and Lily face you find happy times, quiet moments.
    The importance of accepting people and how little it takes reminded me of this weekend when I heard a story on Studio 360 about Broadway shows finding ways to accommodate people on the autism spectrum. What worked for some wouldn’t work for everyone but a show like “Frozen” could reach an even wider audience simply by beginning with the question, “How can we be more understanding?”
    Well, that’s a bit of a tangent–what matters is I’m glad Lily had a happy birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Christopher! Thanks for being such a regular reader and for taking the time to share such a nice insight here. I appreciate it, love the notion that diversity doesn’t matter much either without its counterpart in “inclusion,” right? Learning that first-hand. Thanks for the lovely comment. Bill

      Liked by 1 person

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