A question of degrees

I stood in my socks eating cold pancakes with beer as the dog watched, wagging her tail. I then inventoried the remaining wine, cleared Charlotte’s homework away, lit a stick of incense, and tried to relax. Upstairs someone was either crying or laughing. It rained for the first time in weeks, the longest dry spell on record for April. I walked in it, the long way around the park. I thought about work and how lucky I was, though it brought me stress. Somehow I felt more prone to anxiety now, but it fueled my desire to please, to do good work. The sound upstairs was definitely laughter, though Lily sobs like that when she’s about to have an attack. The laughter and crying are just a few degrees apart. I remembered a dream where I was holding my favorite book and the spine broke off, the pages crumbling like fallen leaves. I got up early so I could walk before it was light and get online by 6:30, hit it hard. I sat like a concert pianist laying everything out. I took it to heart, and did my best. I was getting paid to write! Paid well. My hair looked horrible. The beard was growing back, all white. I was up to 90 push-ups but not weighing myself, would save that for later. We probably wouldn’t make it another week before we had to go back to the store. Pretty much everyone was in masks there now. I made plans to meet Gregg and walk around the lake, FaceTime felt too weird for a friend who lives right around the corner.

Categories: microblogging, prose, writing

Tags: , , , , , ,

23 replies

  1. Appreciate with giggly pleasure the expression ‘Face Time’. New for me. Importance of the term enhanced by the situational appropriation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha ha! I remember the first time I saw FaceBook used in an email and had to ask my younger cousin what it was. Wish I still had that. Nostalgia for past future-prescience?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We’re meeting quite a few neighbors we’ve never seen before … privacy in the front yard is history! Stay out there 5 minutes and someone walks by, usually with either dog(s) or child(s) in tow … they stop and say hi, ask about the plants, all at 6-ft separation of course … and usually comment “oh, we live right around the corner.” Who’d’ve guessed so many nice folks so close? There are some pleasantries in the mix we’re in. I am envious of your access to a lake – we’d have a 20 min one-way drive just to get to a creek trail (probably why neighbors keep walking round the blocks!) I admit to preferring the backyard lately … but heartened by the friendliness of neighbors.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. crying laughing dying creating…
    And cold pancakes!


  4. That first sentence could’ve been a John Prine song, and the thin line between the sound of laughing and crying.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. nice shout out….see you at 4pm. please text me when you’re close and I’ll come up. best,


    gregg s johnson cell: 206.399.3066 email: gregg@greggsjohnson.com


    Liked by 1 person

  6. “Photo beauty gets attention and her eye paints running down, she’s got a rose in her teeth and a lampshade crown, one minute she’s so happy then she’s crying on someone’s knees, saying laughing and crying, you know it’s the same release” from People’s Parties by Joni Mitchell.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I was doing pushups before my surgery but couldn’t do them for a long time afterwards. When I finally could again, I had lost what little strength I had. Here in isolation, I’m back at 50 again. But now the bar’s set at 90? Sheesh!
    I’m following The Number Ones at Stereogum, and in late February in 1981, the #1 song was “I Love a Rainy Night” by Eddie Rabbit. Now that song’s stuck in my head. Now it’s stuck in yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. hehe, enjoyed the fun writing and the last one on trees was brilliant writing. Guess, comments disabled! The beauty about nature and the current times we live in where humans would be powerless as our trees stand tall. A lesson about gravity, identity and humans. Hope we change.

    Liked by 1 person

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