My hair never would have grown out like this. I sometimes put on a collared shirt for video meetings but never turn my camera on, our bandwidth can’t support it. We’re in an area of compromised nodes, our ISP says. It was never intended to support all these people home gaming, streaming, video conferencing. What else is there to do. Fix the fucking internet. Send more things to my front door and then be off. Incense, resistance bands, puzzles, books. This week we all went nuts. The kids’ sleep cycles turned upside down. Now, a foreshadowing of a hair cut I got from a different time, how poorly it’s grown out. Hair. People demanding access to their stylists for root touch-ups. My rights! We are so revealed by our base, selfish instincts. Send more pizza and beer: more bandwidth. And incense. Spare the world of us. There is no protection from the careless, diseased self-interests of man.