In the morning I checked the weather report but felt some distance from it, like it was talking about a place I was supposed to be but wasn’t. The rain made the snow melt, a mixture of solemnness and hope,… Read More ›
writing
Faces in squares
I went back to work. I didn’t go anywhere, I just got out a different laptop. I have three computers and each one has a distinct purpose. The work computer isn’t mine, it’s on loan. I can get anything from… Read More ›
Beetles and eggs and blues
For 20 days I took an all-cold shower after yoga every morning and today, on Thanksgiving, having the house all to myself, I grunted and snorted and really hammed it up in the shower, finishing things off with a stiff… Read More ›
A film of light
The candle starts off bright but soon goes dim. And that’s OK because the light from outside comes on as the candle’s gone down. The two match each other’s dimness. I sit in the dark with my blanket and the… Read More ›
New emptiness
Loren and I stay up late watching old Genesis concert footage on his sofa, angling the laptop so we can both see. He has a retro light projector propped in the corner that spins on a slow orbit and is… Read More ›
Gold teeth and a curse for this town
You park by the side of the road by the apartments, the place you grew up. A sign says residents only but you feel a sense of entitlement being here. You imagine the conversation you will have if someone stops… Read More ›
FOREVERANDEVERNOMORE
This is how it is then. Walking down the road in the middle of October, the driest October ever. The winds wrestle between cool and warm, east and west. This is how it is getting older. You imagine what it… Read More ›
Carson Street slideshow
We are in Michael’s boyfriend’s apartment getting into Michael’s boyfriend’s bag. It is 1993 and Michael is gay before anyone else in Pittsburgh. It isn’t a display, it’s just who he is. The purple scarves and golden hoops, the flowy… Read More ›
The real color of fake blood
Now the big maple leaves are copper colored and scattered across the trails. Some have spots, most are matted together. They will combine down into a tapestry of debris and then recombine with the earth. The scent and sight of… Read More ›
Lessons in recovery
This is how the bargaining works, you get drawn back into the maze. And it is a kind of madness to feel like you don’t have control over your own mind. If the labyrinth metaphor works for you, consider how the walls are formed and why.
Bill Pearse 