There are no other dads at the elementary school drop-off corral, it’s a maze of mini-vans and stress-masks with encouraging signs near the choke point closest to the school reading “Synergize”: the sign says synergize. In other words, be nice… Read More ›
humor
Open your heart to the trees
The doormat can’t go askew but it does, and I have to straighten it each time I go by. Cats act no different than people when they’re high on cat nip, on drugs: self-centered, prone to violent acts. Still I… Read More ›
Geographic Tongue
I’m told it’s common, affecting 2-3% of the population, which doesn’t sound common, but intriguing still: Geographic Tongue. I picked my hygienist because she seems genuinely passionate about oral health. When I ask for more information she gets excited talking… Read More ›
The unabashed quality of the selfie
It is inherently unabashed, the selfie. It has this I Don’t Care I’m Vain aspect I’ll Even Do It Publicly, then push it to my friends. And it’s true, once you embrace the vanity it can set you free to… Read More ›
How to look cool waiting for the bus: 20 foolproof tips
Tips to operate with grace and polish in a congested, urban setting with strangers. 1. DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU’RE WAITING As in the doctor’s office or standing outside an important meeting, be ready at all times but don’t be too obvious… Read More ›
The Head of the Snake: Backcountry Ballad in ‘E’
Superstitious, sentimental, stupid: put these together and that’s me going back into the mountains to get in shape again. So my first outing had to be perfect and auspicious and just how it used to be five years ago, when… Read More ›
The ass from the manger scene
It’s the 15 year anniversary since our first date, and Dawn and I get into a spat over the gingerbread decorating event planned by the Girl Scout troop at a local school. I ask, what do we do while they’re… Read More ›
The 1,000th time
A part of me died that day in the conference room when I botched it with the process decomposition. I had a plan going in, aligned on it with my business owner, and the plan was to plot the as-is… Read More ›
Secretary’s Day
I was sleeping with a girl from the Costume Department. They thought she was gay, they thought I was gay, and we played along with it — Ha, ha, “We’re gay!” They thought she was gay because she’d started going… Read More ›
Another run-in with the surly butcher
Why do butchers act the way they do? Because they chop meat and get covered with blood, for work? I got to the store early, picked up my things, and saved the meat for last. I needed a couple pounds… Read More ›
Bill Pearse 