The first time I tried sobriety we were in England and it was January, a cruel time of the year to sober up. But something about the landscape and season reflected the inner peace I needed. Long muddy walks in… Read More ›
recovery
Giving it up
Flipping through the photos on my phone it’s upsetting to see all these pictures of me drinking. Why I felt the need to photograph myself doing that, and how stupid I look. It’s kind of funny to see myself like… Read More ›
Pictures of you
In the den on the bookshelf he keeps a framed set of photos of himself. Starting at 10 o’clock and moving clockwise, he is a grade school student in a striped red turtleneck, the late 1970s. The picture has the… Read More ›
Lessons in recovery
This is how the bargaining works, you get drawn back into the maze. And it is a kind of madness to feel like you don’t have control over your own mind. If the labyrinth metaphor works for you, consider how the walls are formed and why.
Look what phase the moon got into
I still have the handwritten note from the guy who refinished our hardwoods when we moved into this house in 2010: how to clean them, the right ratio of vinegar to water, don’t over-wet the mop. His name was Roy… Read More ›
The Grandfather Tree
It’s the Fourth of July and we’re an hour north of Spokane in Eastern Washington, where it’s hot. Brad drew a map showing the way to his cabin, through gates and pathways in the forest. We’re not sure we’re at… Read More ›
Rethinking Pink Floyd
I was too young to connect with Pink Floyd in the late 60s or 70s the way others did. When they released the film of The Wall, I was frightened by it (the scene with kids falling into a meat… Read More ›
The blanket (sad dream I can’t remember)
I keep the blanket for comfort, and that’s the problem. I carry it on my hips and shoulders, and it clouds my eyes. The clouds block out the light and I can’t see myself when I’m under it. I think… Read More ›
Voodoo Doll
Kendra was so beautiful she made me uncomfortable in my house. Even though she was with her boyfriend John, her beauty (and my attraction to her) would prevent us from ever having a normal relationship. They came up from Philly… Read More ›
Bill Pearse 