When everything matters

957ACD3B-EA42-4D9C-B1B4-DB69E3B3A537I came downstairs and turned on the tree. First day of Christmas break, off for two weeks. Sunrise just shy of 8, but hard to tell when it really starts. The shortest day of the year—and thank god for electric light.

Thirty-three years ago now, I got this cassette by Gene Loves Jezebel. I only knew one song from the radio and took a bet on it, and it paid off. I even identified with the music, newly 16, a time when everything seemed to matter. It was like I’d just discovered the scale of life, that there was more of it than I could ever consume. And that filled me with a lust to devour it, there was just so much.

So I started writing it down and documenting it, every small bit. I went so far as to record it on a tape player, one night in the bath tub. The past series of days had been really tough, getting dumped by Marie. I went on and on, but when I listened back to the tape my dad’s voice cut in (he’d clearly listened to it, and then recorded himself saying “pompous, pompous, pompous!” at the end). And the sound of my mom in the background giggling, saying oh, stop! And then it cuts out.

The bastard! He was right! And I sank back and knew it, and never did that again. Not even on my blog here, 33 years later…and counting.

Categories: identity, musings, writing

Tags: , , , , , ,

9 replies

  1. Ah, those cassettes. More than 33 years ago, twelve year old John and I having a frank discussion on what we thought we knew about sex. My dad found that. Kids today, with their own personal recording devices, don’t need to remember to take out the tape.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh that is funny Bill! You have definitely evolved as a writer and I enjoy your little slice of life posts immensely. It occurred to me that our parents were not afraid to make fun of us and we weren’t so sensitive when compared to how everyone is these days. Life requires a sense of humor always and some self deprecation now and then to keep us grounded. Hope you enjoy the slowly lengthening daylight hours coming our way now Bill.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re right, we are too sensitive these days I think! Thanks for the observation I’ve evolved too, would like to think so…some days more than others right? Hope you’re enjoying the post-rain now.


  3. Wow. I think he might have been both right and wrong, if you take my meaning.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your dad was an ass.
    No offense.

    Liked by 1 person

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