***OUT OF OFFICE ALERT (OOF)***PINKLIGHTSABRE IS OUT OF THE OFFICE FOR THE NEXT 4 HOURS WITH PARTIALLY DELAYED RESPONSE TIME. IF THIS IS URGENT YOU CAN TEXT ME NO PROBLEM. IF YOU’RE NOT SURE IF IT’S URGENT THEN TEXT ME… Read More ›
satire
The first thing we’ll do is round up all the reporters
If there’s an analogy to be made between the winding down of the US presidential election and a sunset, the analogy breaks down when you consider the fact that most people enjoy sunsets. I debated between a winter sunset, the… Read More ›
High-profile blogger launches attack on Basset Hound owners
The problem with Basset Hounds is they suck. If you’re a Basset lover, I’m not sorry for writing this, I’m sorry for you. Right now as you’re reading this there’s probably something you need to clean or repair, something that got… Read More ›
How to look like an indie rocker without trying too hard
It’s 62° F in my mom’s kitchen and I’m 45, wearing a scarf and an apron, browning onions. I never wanted to look like an indie rocker which is why I’m so good at it — people stop me on… Read More ›
That one winter in the UK
By the time we got to Bath there was nothing left to see. I could have skipped London which would have been dumb, hiding instead in some quiet town by a river in the Cotswolds, some place even the English don’t… Read More ›
What makes High Baroque high?
Hi, Is a great way to start a corporate email to someone you’re pissed off at but don’t want to sound it. We sat outside with a glass of Riesling in the afternoon watching the people go by at a… Read More ›
The Needle and Thread, Seattle
I am with two Canadians in a waiting room in Olympia, Washington: the United States Department of Agriculture Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service. I don’t really know what they do, I’ve just been sent here by my vet to… Read More ›
Three Girl Rhumba
I’ve been experimenting with drugs for our pets, for a 14-hour international flight next week where they’ll sit in the cargo hold while I read a first draft of my memoir on the plane. I crush the drugs, dilute them… Read More ›
How to look cool waiting for the bus: 20 foolproof tips
Tips to operate with grace and polish in a congested, urban setting with strangers. 1. DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU’RE WAITING As in the doctor’s office or standing outside an important meeting, be ready at all times but don’t be too obvious… Read More ›
Standing under the shoulders of giants
A week spent with data, inside Excel: VLOOKUPS, pivot tables, four rewrites of a simple proposal drawn up for review by one guy, a 15 minute meeting. A five page deck with about 10 pages in the appendix. The appendix,… Read More ›
Bill Pearse 