Men need caves to be their base-ass selves, to giggle and fart and talk nonsense because that’s what men do best, being men. I’ve thought about why men prefer pissing in the outdoors, will even go out of their way… Read More ›
humor
The Needle and Thread, Seattle
I am with two Canadians in a waiting room in Olympia, Washington: the United States Department of Agriculture Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service. I don’t really know what they do, I’ve just been sent here by my vet to… Read More ›
Hold me put, here
It’s either a dead worm or part of a banana adhered to the grout in the kitchen tile; it’s gotten that bad, the house. Shrew-killing season in full swing for the cats and some, catch and release style. The cats… Read More ›
Drunks are like fruit trees
I changed my pants today, which is notable because I took a vow to keep wearing the corduroys until I got the garage done, and that was a week ago last Tuesday. Yesterday, I found a draft of a story… Read More ›
Climbing cocks, steep peaks, dry tools (2)
Brad and I camp in the snow by an abandoned hunter’s cabin up Black Canyon with my dog Ginger, who puts her nose in Brad’s eye and causes it to swell up like a walnut because Brad’s convinced there’s foreign… Read More ›
Acting School
She lied about being on the pill for reasons that later became clear. She had bad hair, hair stuck in the 80s, but we were starting the 90s. And then she was diagnosed with a fatal disease, a disease I… Read More ›
The first step is to turn the main breaker off
I parse out just enough cat nip for one of the cats to get off, but not both, and let them duke it out like Siamese fighting fish, all hisses and rear leg strokes fanning the guts, fangs, stoned-out faces,… Read More ›
Put yourself in a box and sell yourself
The identity crisis I’m facing comes to bear most at the elementary school drop-off corral. We live in a rich area. People are in a hurry, late for yoga, conveying updates via mobile devices, voice-recognition apps, distracted, caffeinated, made-up. I… Read More ›
Known outage report for Western Washington
We’re sorry. The website <http://pinklightsabre.com> is temporarily out of service in your area and not accepting new patients. This is a Known Outage. If you believe you’ve received this notice in error, we’re sorry again. There are no paragraph breaks… Read More ›
Life is the job interview you didn’t realize was a job interview
We don’t preen here, the #2 guy says. He repeats himself because he likes the word preen, he puts it in italics. It forces the three of us to pause and think about our last jobs, because we all have… Read More ›
Bill Pearse 